(#15) My art identity crisis and post-grad plans

What does someone who graduated with a degree in art and Italian studies do after college? I’m glad you asked. Let’s talk about it. 

It’s been a year since I graduated college. Most freshly-minted baccalaureate recipients encounter challenges in the process of beginning life after college. Your whole routine falls apart, your friends move away, the academic validation evaporates, and you need to find a job and a place to live. It is an identity crisis. Something I found challenging as an art major was the whiplash I experienced transitioning from working on a large body of meaningful work to suddenly nothing at all. How was I supposed to replicate that type of work without the structure of school? Was there enough meaning in the work to continue it? Is now the time to be an artist?  The role that art would play in my future and my career was something I contemplated throughout college. Art is not a typical major. It became part of my identity. I consider my training in art to be my most valuable asset and I am grateful I was able to have formal art training. Art can, however, feel like a constant fight both internally and externally to prove that your work is worth the time and effort. This was the foundation of my art identity crisis. 

Being a dual-major, I feel that art was only part of me. A couple months after I graduated, in the midst of career planning and reflection, I came face-to-face with the fact that if I only pursue art, a chunk of me would be deeply dissatisfied. The reason I also majored in Italian studies was because of my interest in learning languages and studying literature, history, and art history. In the process of completing my senior thesis and taking several art history classes, I realized I was enthralled by historical research. I was less interested in contemporary art. I was also frustrated by the commodification of art which made it difficult to sell what I made. I loved being able to think like an artist and apply my background in art processes and theory to better understand a painting completed centuries ago. 

One day after my Gendering the Renaissance art history class during my senior year, my professor asked me if I had considered getting a master’s degree in art history and then told me I should. While I had loved my art history classes, I had only thought about pursuing an MFA (master of fine arts–the highest degree you can get as an artist). I had never considered going the art history route, but it made perfect sense. It seemed like a perfect application of my knowledge of art, Italian, and history that would fulfill my other passions of research and conservation of artwork and history. 

When applying for grad school, I took my professor’s advice seriously. I applied to both MFA programs and art history programs. I was scared that I did not know enough or that I would not be prepared to do either one. So scared that I nearly talked myself out of applying a couple of times. Self-doubt is a comorbidity of graduating college and being in your early 20s.  I had two programs that were my top choices, but would each take me in dramatically different directions. And I’ve finally come to a decision: 

I’m pivoting. 

So what am I going to be doing with a degree in art and Italian studies?

I’m going to study art in Italy, duh! This fall I will be starting my master’s degree in Italian Renaissance art history at Syracuse University. I’ll be moving across the country and then across the world to Italy where I will spend a year studying art in the birthplace of the Renaissance. In line with my senior thesis project, I’ll be focusing my research on women artists of the Renaissance and Baroque era. To say I am excited would be an understatement. It has always been a dream of mine to study art in Italy and I can’t quite believe it is happening. Stay tuned for content about grad school and life in Italy. 

I am never going to stop making art. Art will always be my passion, whether creating it or studying it. I want my art to have depth and meaning which means I need to travel, research, and connect with the unknown. Being twenty-three with aspirations and lofty goals, I feel averse to being tied down by my possessions and the fact that most art creates more stuff is pushing me away from it. That is why over the past year I gravitated towards writing as a creative outlet. I want my art to travel with me compactly and document my memories. I’ve moved a studio’s worth of art supplies across the country and I don’t plan on doing it again for grad school. In a way, it feels like a fresh start. I just know that I will be inspired to create while I am living in Florence. I can’t wait to dive into my studies and share art with you all.